Let Me Elaborate

Ok, so if you know me, you know that I am regretting the negative slant on my last post. I debated about taking it down, but decided to leave it up because it is a part of what life is like. A small part.

There is a part of me that is thankful for the meltdown following the skype call because it showed me the hurt that he has. Most people who interact with Daniel and come away thinking nothing besides that he is funny and happy.

But God has been giving me glimpses of the heart within.

While I was at the orphanage I thought that it was pretty nice, but as I see this little child processing, or trying to, after living that way, it makes me realize that not all was as it seemed. And really, you can have the nicest place in the world, but all it takes is one bad person to make it hellish.

I, in no way, want to give any impression that we are not happy. Because we really are. There is such a primal thrill in watching the cogs slip into place. Watching Wyatt and Daniel doing their version of sign language and giggling together. The improvements that we are having at school. He is learning to color and draw, which may seem very simple, but I believe is very important. He made it through Sunday school by himself. So many leaps forward.

When we were at the fall festival this last weekend, he did amazingly well. We ran into some friends and their boys were rough housing with each other. Daniel didn't try to get into the fracas, but he did sock me in the thigh. It didn't hurt, but it goes to show how affected he is by environment.

And tact. Oh, buddy. We have a ways to go. Haha. I can only hope that people understand that he had never been exposed to people who look much different from him and so when he sees someone who is, he is going to remark. I am looking forward to having more English and being able to explain that God has made people different, for example Daniel is short.  Ay yi yi. That being said, he isn't mean spirited when he makes his observations, he is innocent and there is something refreshing about that. (Even though I want to make excuses and it embarrasses me to death.)

So, Readers, it truly is an adventure. Ups and downs. And God teaching me patience in a way I didn't know existed. The sweets are so much sweeter. The worst day here is better than his best day when we were in Ukraine. The small triumphs are spectacular. The personality emerges and I discover that I have a little boy who likes music and hates homework, well, pretty much any work, but is learning to do it anyway. It is hard to say what other preferences that he has because he is constantly in flux trying to discover just who this Daniel Sponseller is, just what he likes.

And it is beautiful. And messy. And painful. And wondrous.

And a little side note: without going into detail, the call from school yesterday was a misunderstanding. It is sad to me that it happened, but has shown me that those who love Daniel need to rally around and give him the confidence to sail through the rough seas of prejudice and misunderstanding when they come. Because they will.

Please pray for that.

I will close with something that I remember my tenth grade history teacher told me. She said that when she was having to correct her son she would think to herself, "Thank God for strong willed children, for they will not be easily swayed."

Amen.