Better and Better

At first this new life seemed ruined. Everything that we were was in upheaval. We were in survival mode. There are days that we don't do what we used to.

When we first thought about adopting an older child we had the thought that we really didn't want a baby because we didn't want to start the clock over. But adoption is starting the clock over, in a sense. But you have to work harder. Old habits to unlearn. New options to be explored. Such an adventure. And a shorter time to do it in.

As you know from past posts, we have really struggled with Daniel's school situation. Right now he is going partial days, which really has been a positive step for him. He is much less stressed. Much more centered. The hard part is for ME. I had been mentally gearing up to have the day to myself to get things done. But instead, I have about two hours by the time my running is done. And then I have a curious, discovering, exploring little sponge with me for the rest of the day. Who barges in while I am going to the bathroom to show me whatever thing he has figured out.

I have had to reconfigure my expectations. I had to gain the perspective (and am still working on it) that I have poured into each of my children. Years at home with Mama. Hours spent at story time. Days whiled away walking through the mall or the zoo. Even my big exchange student boys, Pedro and João, hours spent talking about everything and nothing. I have decided that I need to pour into Daniel too. Hours spent watching Lilo and Stitch. Going to Walmart. Reading books. That I must sow if I ever hope to reap.

And so, I sow. And I water. And we laugh. And he tells me that he is Daddy's baby. And the brown-eyed ones are starting to love him, not just put up with him, not just feel sorry for him. But accept him. He calls Gracie "Monster" last night. So she calls him "Booger." And they all laugh about it. And they hug him and he prays for them.

And slowly but surely the seeds are sprouting and we continue to sow and water and laugh. Because what else can you do when things go sour and you respond to being beat with a balloon by popping said balloon like a fiend?

I was reminded of the line in the song, "You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us."