This journal submission is not a result of a forced act of coercsion or pleading by my wife, Crystal, but rather another chosen step by my own accord.  Perhaps, seeing my thoughts outwardly expressed in another manner will help me better understand something that is becoming much more of a reality.

Adoption.

Crystal and I will have another son... another child.  Grace and Claire will have another brother.  Wyatt will have another brother (aside from his other brothers João and Pedro).  Our family will be forever changed. I will be forever changed.  This boy will be forever changed.  I pray that through all of the planning processes that God is given full glory, first thoughts, and praise.

Two days ago, or thereabouts, I had my first un-prompted pondering about another child in my family.  All 6 of us were riding in the mini-van and heading back home; I looked into the rear-view mirror thinking one more boy and we will have all the seats filled.  A slight emotional and logical connection took place.  In a little way, the feeling I experienced was similar to when the Grinch's heart grew three sizes.

Of course, I know that I have a heart and a passion to love, but adoption was never something that I made a connection with in the past.  I always thought adoption is a wonderful thing, but never really gave any thought about me and my family doing this.  A better understanding of how God adopted me is beginning to take hold.

Last thought and experience to share.  (Keep in mind, that this journal is more for my experience, but if it helps some other guys/husbands like me, I hope this helps.)

After completing an assignment downtown this morning I had quite a bit of quiet time walking several blocks back to my car.  I watched the different people around, cars, buildings, bushes, etc. and then I thought about Wyatt.  If he were with me now, I would be listening to him ask many random questions, watching him pick up rocks, and holding my hand.  Holding hands with my kids brings such warmth and joy to my heart.

What about this other boy who I haven't met yet?  Would we be holding hands together?  I would be his dad.  I will be his dad.  Would I be good at this, after all, I do well with my friends' kids.  Wow, this boy will be my son.  I will be a father to four children.  Crystal and I will be a family of six.  I can do this.  I am excited to do this.

I look forward to this new journey with my wife and family.

God is good.

~Garth