His Eye Is On The Sparrow

I feel like the telling of this story is like the blooming of a peony. So many petals that it would be impossible to describe the full beauty. And the scent? I can't even begin.

We keep finding more and more people who are loving, praying for, fasting for and sacrificially giving for our boy.

And he has no idea.

On Sunday I spoke with one of our elders at church and asked him to pray at the elder's meeting on Monday that God would awesomely provide our funding. I mean, I BELIEVED that He would provide. I guess that I just kind of thought that He would through MY crazy grant writing skills.

I won't lie. I was really disappointed when we didn't get those last couple of grants. But the almost simultaneous realization along with the disappointment was that IF we had gotten those grants and been fully funded that I always would have felt like I had something to do with that. And I don't. Not even a little.

I have realized more and more through this journey how dependent that I am on God for His grace and His providence. I have realized how my children aren't MINE, they are God's and whereas I am easily generous with MY things, I do NOT feel that way about MY children. They are MINE MINE MINE.

Except they aren't. And there is nothing like having one of "YOUR" children whom you have never met but that you love SO MUCH, away from you, out of your reach but fully in HIS hands to make you understand that the ones you tuck in every night are every bit as much HIS. And not truly yours.

On Tuesday morning I awoke to the news that our appointment date had been set: June 17 at 10 am  Ukraine time (that is 3 am our time, I am sure that we will be at our best). Ha.

I got together with my friend Jackie later that day and we assembled some great freezer to the crock pot meals.

After Jackie left to take her son home for a nap, I was checking my messages and had received one from a friend that I have met on this journey. She told me that there had been a family who had wanted to adopt our boy a year and a half ago and that the mama would like to talk with me and pray for us, if that fine with me.

I really had to think about that because I wasn't sure what "the talk" was going to be about. After all, not all "talks" that we have had along this road have been uplifting and I am really to a point now where I want to focus on the Voice of Truth instead of the world. I prayed about it and asked God for guidance and really felt like He was leading me to reach out. And that, good or bad, I owed it, one mommy to another, to hear what was on her heart. I sent an email with my phone number in it and within minutes my phone was ringing.

I answered and met Kim.

Kim and her family had fallen in love with our little man some time ago and had worked so hard to try and bring him home but due to circumstances were not able to. I got to share with Kim things that I have learned about how D is progressing and how God has been answering her prayers. We both blubbered.

I am choking up writing this.

Kim asked if there was anything that we needed. I told her to pray (which I don't think she has stopped doing since she has known of D). She asked me how our funds were. I told her that we were still a little short, but trusting God that it would all work out.

She shared with me that she and her husband had been faithfully saving money for this boy. Even though they knew he wasn't theirs. And that they would donate it. For him.

What faithfulness!

Thanks to the generosity of Kim and family members we are now VERY CLOSE to being fully funded.

I was thinking, "This little boy must be someone VERY special, even more than we know, if God is moving mountains for him and putting him on so many people's hearts." And the thought that all of this is happening but that he is still sitting in the orphanage with NO IDEA what all is transpiring.

And then the Truth struck me. God is doing that for all of us. We have no idea the depth and breadth of God's love and compassion for us. And it is moments like this that we get a glimpse, through the mirror darkly, of His amazing heart. For orphans. For us.